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Monday, August 4, 2014

Waxing emotional

I realized this evening that my posts this time around have been much more facts-oriented than my posts for my pregnancy with #1. I think there are several reasons for that.

(1) I'm not as emotional this time around. Yes I've been scared. In fact, there's still a part of me that doesn't know if Obi will still be alive for Thursday's u/s. But this time around, trying for #2, has felt much less desperate than for #1. Not that we don't dearly want a second child. But we are very very happy with our life right now. DH and I love being parents. And we have been fortunate enough to have that opportunity. If all works out with #2, our lives will be even fuller.

(2) I have much more social support this time around so I don't need to vent my emotions on here as much as I did the first time around. I've made some amazing friends in the past couple of years. They have been so supportive of this crazy journey we've been on -- everything from asking me how I'm/Obi's doing to texting me to let me know they are rooting for me days I have u/s and b/w etc to staying with DD while DH and I went to Co THREE times to bringing me a ginormous bag of popcorn to satisfy my/Obi's late night cravings to baking me zucchini muffins when I was feeling too nauseous to eat anything but carbs to staying with DD later this month so DH and I can have a night away for a wonderful date night/day to sleep in. I'm so grateful for their support.

This is reminding me of something that happened months ago--an old friend who knew I was having problems with my IF treatment got pregnant. I'm so happy for her and her family. But the way she chose to tell me -- was to bump her belly against mine while giving me a hello hug. Luckily I had been told that she was pregnant the night before so I wasn't totally surprised. But seriously. Bumping your bump on your infertile friend's barren womb while she's struggling with failed IF treatment has to rank up there among the most insensitive ways to announce your pregnancy.

Needless to say, no more of that type of "support".

(3) I'm a working mom with a 2 year old. I love spending time with DD! And time with her is precious. I get ~ 1-1.5 hours with her in the AM, then she's at daycare and I'm at work/working from home/napping/resting all day, then I get another ~ 3 hours with her in the evenings. I don't want to waste any precious time with her doing something other than paying attention to her, playing with her, hearing about her day and her insights on things. After she goes to sleep each night, DH and I have ~ 2 hours to clean the house, relax, spend time together before bedtime. So I just don't have the time to ruminate on this process as much as I did before I had DD.

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